Blaaaaaahhh.

I love driving, even though i have kind of figured out i'm not really good at it. Twice, i have stopped in the middle of the street, and the first time, i got really stressed out cuz there was a car standing in front that was stuck because of me. Today, however, i figured out that you have to push down on the accelerator before letting go of the clutch. that helped.


My dad is a very calm person, and for this, i am very fortunate, cuz if he had shown any stress during the stuck in the middle of the road thing, i would have probably freaked out, but when i parked the car, i looked over at him, and he was COVERED in sweat.


i asked him what was wrong and he replied:


" tum nay tou mujhay tension main daal dia hai. mera bura haal ho rahay hai."
that was funny. Becharay abba.


Today, when i exited the car, i did the lock-the-car-with-a-button-over-your-shoulder-thing. I felt very cool. i wish i had had sunglasses and a leather jacket. it didn't make the beep beep sound, but still.

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It was my cousin's manghni day before yesterday! She's my first (close) cousin to get engaged and we're all mega excited. :D
the manghni, however, was filled with a bazillion people and lots of noise, and i don't really like people. I'm not a very social person, and i can't handle so many people at one time. 

I stuck to a cousin, and I am SO glad she was there.


But I did have to meet truckloads of people, and meeting people I haven't seen in a while is very awkward for me. i never know what to say.


there were so many people who came up to me and told me how much i had grown up, or how nice i looked and stuff.


I just smiled awkwardly and mumbled thanks and looked for an escape route.


I don't take compliments really well. they make me slightly uncomfortable.


One distant cousin came up to me, and said:


"HIIII!! I haven't seen you in soo long! You've grown so much. I remember the last time i saw you you were in pigtails and glasses, telling me why you didn't wanna be a doctor! and now you look so pretty, you've completely blossomed!"


She actually said blossomed. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for a reply, and i just laughed awkwardly, said thankyou and pretended i just remembered i had to say something really important to my mum, and left. it was AWKWARD.


These situations are always awkward. People are just not my thing.


It's the same with new people or people i don't know very well. i'm not very good at small talk, so once the other person's done talking, i never know what to SAY, so i pretend to get distracted by something else.
I also never know where to look. If the other person is talking for a long time, i feel weird staring at their eyes for so long, so i pretend that my fingernail hurts and lookk at it, or i'll look at a person passing by.
How do normal people do this?


I don't know HOW i made any of my friends. 


When i'm around people i'm comfortable around, however,  i can talk properly, and i never have to worry about where to look. Apparently, i talk a lot.
One of my friends told me:


"You know, you talk too much. what you could say in a minute, you stretch out and say in 5 minutes, and waste 4 minutes of everone's lives"


Also, when i'm really excited about something, or just really hyper, i can talk a lot no matter who i'm talking to.
I also talk really fast. 
I was at a friends place a couple of days ago, and i was really hyper cuz we had just had lotsa donuts, so i was talking really fast, and when i stopped, they all stared at me for a bit, and then one of them told me I could be a rapper.

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I LOVE TO SWIM. It's one of the best forms of exercise. 


The only problem with swimming are pruny fingers, and the vent type things at the bottom of pools. I loathe swimming over the vents. i'm always terrified that they're gonna suck me in with the water like a whirlpool, and i'm going to drown and die. 

After reading that Dan Brown book in which he described drowning (i'm not sure which one), i am completely covinced that it's the absolute worst way to go. Besides being tortured or stoned to death I mean.


The showers at the place i go to swim are amazing, cuz the water pressure is so high, it's like a massage.

However, i tend to sing in the shower. a lot. Whenever, i take a shower, i sing at the top of my voice, so i always have to remember not to sing in the shower after swimming. But sometimes i forget, and i feel very awkward when i get out, and i have to avoid glances of aunties and get out of the bathroom as fast as possible.

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I have had this song stuck in my head for two days, and i can't get it out. so i'm going to get it stuck in your head, too.

Click the play button.

Some people end their posts so awesomely. My posts always and abruptly. Oh well.

FREEDOM.

My exams are officially OVER!
Do you know how long a month is? Actually,two months if you count the mocks.
You do not know, unless you've been giving exams for two months. it was pure TORURE.
My brain had turned to mush. Gooey mush. Gooey grey coloured squishy mush.
My Corpus Callosum and Hippocampus and Amygdala and Thalmus had all melted together to form gooey squishy grey mush.

The worst part was that the majority of my friends' exams were over.
I swear, the day before the last exam, i went crazy. I blew up at my sister for no reason, and started banging my head against the wall. Until I realized I was losing way more brain cells than I could afford. Brain cells that would not grow back.

loony me

But now i'm free. Like a bird. or a kangaroo. It's a good feeling.

Now, I can read as many blog posts as I want, without feeling guilty. I can write as much as I want, without feeling guilty. I can watch as much of The Big Bang Theory and Heroes as I want, without feeling guilty. I can Facebook as much as I want, without feeling guilty (as boring as it is, the ability to do this without feeling guilty is wonderful.). I can read as many books as I want, without feeling guilty. I can read as many Fictionpress stories as I want, without feeling guilty. I can watch as many movies as I want, without feeling guilty. I can draw, paint or doodle as much as I want, without feeling guilty.
I love my guiltless existence!

It's been so long, I don't think I can even remember what life was like without exams. But it feels amazing. Like a load has been lifted off my shoulders.

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In other news, I DROVE TODAY.
In an actual car!
It was so awesome, I had been waiting for this day since forever.
my dad woke me up at five in the morning and took me to a parking lot, cuz, you know, there aren't any cars there at five in the morning, and I DROVE.
I felt so cool sitting there in front of the steering wheel with the car actually moving.
When I moved the seat all the way in front, I could see over the top of the car. I was relieved about this. I had been worried I wouldn't be able to see anything.
After all those years of climbing into the front seat when my dad left the car and pretending to drive.
I can actually drive now! well.. kinda.

I didn't realize it would be so difficult just starting the car.
It took me like four tries, but I think that's pretty good, considering it's my first time and all.
then I drove in circles around the parking lot in first gear until my dad got bored.
it was so AWESOME.
Tomorrow, I get to drive in second gear.
This is so exciting!

This guy who used to be in my class last year drowned a couple of days ago in the sea.
they found his body yesterday.
At my last school, i hardly spoke to anyone at all outside my little group of friends, most of them were not my type of people,but i do remember speaking to him a few times.
I remember saying Hi to him at the exam venue a few weeks ago.
i still can't believe it.
i wasn't close to him, but it's still such a shock.
He was so nice, and friendly, and full of life. and so YOUNG. this isn't supposed to happen to people this young.
it's even difficult saying "was".
everyone says that it was stupid to go swimming in the sea in the monsoon season, and i agree with them, but i also think that if it's your time, then it's your time.
I can't even begin to imagine what his parents are going through.
when my neighbour died a few months ago, i didn't feel this upset, but that was probably because he was so old, and had been sick for a while.
when you read about this kind of stuff in the newspapers, it doesn't affect you at all, but its awful when it's someone you know.

Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun

Bad Chick-Flicks Make Me Laugh.

Has anyone else noticed how all of Taylor Swift's videos are like mini chick flicks? not the bad ones though.Sometimes i like watching the videos, even if i don't like the song.

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I have read all of the Twilight books but it was so long ago, i don't remember them.

When the movie Twilight came out and everybody was all excited about it, and making a huge fuss about how utterly brilliant it was, i borrowed it from a friend to watch. I could not get through the first half hour. It was awful. it was one of the worst movies i had ever seen. and in the part where he was supposed to sparkle ( i fast forwarded to see it), he didn't even really sparkle properly. you had to look really hard to see it.

Then, when New Moon came out, I resolved not to watch it. There was an even bigger fuss because of how hot Taylor Lautner was.

A Facebook Status: "I just want Taylor Lautner to step out of the screen and carry me away in his huge biceps."

One of my friends even has a t-shirt with his face on it.

I still refused to watch it.

Yesterday, it was coming on TV, so i decided to just watch it to see the hotness everyone gushed about.

"i didn't like the first one, either, but this one had ONLY Jacob in it. you HAVE to watch it!" - another friend

I sat through the movie for over half an hour, in which he only appeared once, and didn't even look that hot (long  hair doesn't suit him) so i decided to wait a while longer cuz he probably looked better with short hair.
but when i got to the part where bella was begging edward not to leave--practically on her knees-- I got so disgusted that i HAD to close the television.
that girl has no spine, and no self respect, and not even a real character.
and I don't know why edward keeps saying things aren't her fault when they very obviously are.

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I went for lunch with a couple of friends of mine (despite my exams STILL not being over. their's finished a while back) and when we went to the bathroom to wash our hands make sure our hair wasn't a giant mess (mine always is, so i didn't really bother trying to fix it), one of them suddenly exclaimed

"Ooh! lets take a bathroom picture"

err.. no thank you. i volunteered to be the photographer. Every single one of those pictures ends up on facebook. why would you want to advertise how often you go to the bathroom to the rest of the world? what is so special about it?

This is an actual screen shot.

and then she said

" Ooh! lets take a CLASSIC mirror picture!"

again.. errr.. how to explain to an enthusiastic teenage girl whose exams have just ended that mirror pictures are NOT classic and that I hate don't really like them?

I couldn't exactly get out of this one, though, so i just decided to grin and bear it. (hehe.. pun)

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Sometimes, i really do love my sister.

she baked these awesome brownies from scratch today. they taste SO good!

And she ALWAYS lets me lick the batter bowl. yum.

I told her I loved her in a moment of batter-licking bliss.

She said: 

" Me too! it's because i'm just so awesome."

She baked me brownies. couldn't exactly argue there. i did make a scoffing type noise, though.

My stomach hurts.

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Read this book.

You must you must you must.

it's one of the bestest books EVER.

it's really awesome.

And its also BIG.

I love it.

AND

If you enjoy reading lots and lots and are on goodreads, tell me, and i'll add you.

if you're not on goodreads, and you love reading, then here's a link. 

JOIN the site.

basically, its a place you can find lots of new books to read, see what your friends are reading, and what books they recommend, read reviews by other people, write your own reviews, list all the books you want to read, and the books you've read, rate books, etc.

it's pretty awesome.

kthnxbye.


Post Script:
Everything has changed. your eyes are not deceiving you.
I just get bored really easily. It took forever to figure out how to change it.