Existential Ice-cream.

I have a math exam tomorrow. Mechanics. I am pretty good at it, only my last couple of exams went so bad I may have developed a phobia of exam rooms.

The first math exam I had, I was like pfft this'll be EASYY and i left home all happy. Only, when i reached the door, I had a bad feeling. I din't want to go in, but eventually a friend managed to shove me in  convince me.
then i found out that I was sitting in the very back of the class. this was not a good omen, either. I hate sitting at the back. cuz it's harder to see, and when I can't see properly, for some reason, i feel like i can't hear properly either, and this this giant comes and sits in front of me. I do not appreciate tall people sitting in front of me. i know it's not a movie or anything, but I don't like my vision being any more restricted than it already is.
AND, the invigilator was mean.

Mean old people are intimidating.

and then , i saw the paper and i thought, wow, this is easy. but by the time i got to question 8, i had very little time left, and the rest of them were DIFFICULT. i must have gotten around 20 marks wrong :(

And then, for my psych exam, I actually had a GOOD feeling, and i sat in the middle of the class, and the invigilator was nice and the paper was easy-ish. but i got so happy that i completely relaxed and I didn't finish the paper.

I was depressed for a while after that. I hope tomorrow won't be as bad.

I think I'm in the middle of an existential crisis. 

I would rant more about it here, about how depressed I am, and how i'm completely worthless, but i just had a giant conversation with a friend about it and feel slightly better, although it's still not letting me study as much as i ought, but then again, i might just be blaming my own laziness on something else.

I really want to see a psychiatrist. a proper one, like an old man with a white beard. 

but when i told my mum, she laughed, and my dad said okay, but he didn't really mean it. or if he did, he's not gonna find me one.

I think i'm gonna have to do the research myself. 

Sometimes, I pretend that i'm talking to a psychiatrist, (called Doug) and i just say whatever to him. it actually helps you feel better.

"Am I mad?"

"Yes. But i'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."

In other, less sad news,
the funniest thing happened today. It actually made me stop being so sad, I laughed so hard.

my dad came in holding a pair of my pants, and asked me if they were mine.
"yep. why?"
"they were in my cupboard, and I wore them."
"wait, you wore them?"
"haan, i thought they were mine. I was wondering why they were so tight all of a sudden"
"they fit you?"
"not really. they were very tight. I wondered how I had grown so fat all of a sudden"
ROFL

In my dad's defense, those pants are Very baggy for me, and I have to use a belt to stop them falling down to my knees. But my father is also very very thin.

Dats ma Dad.

I hate going to the park on Sundays. There's WAY too many people. I hate people.
But I went today anyway, to walk. I hadn't in a while.

you know what I love about walking? The music. Once I put in those ear phones, I drown out everything else, and just listen to the music. it's so peaceful.

This is my current favourite. I love the beginning music, I wouldn't mind listening to JUST that for the entirity of the song, but the rest of the song is really good too.

This is my soon to be obsession. i just heard it a couple of hours ago and i love it. The girl singing it is only 14! she's amazing. I prefer this cover to the original.

And this is the song I was obsessed with before:

Alsoo, I love this one. I makes me happy:

Why can't I ever find a pair of matching socks?

I watched Toy Story 3 yesterday! Finally.

It was Brilliant. Wonderful. Amazing. Fantastic. Good, even.

I laughed, and I laughed, and I screamed when the fuzzy pink bear came,( I don't like fuzzy pink things) and I screamed some more at the scary bits (Yes, I'm a chicken.). And then, at the very end, I cried and I cried. I couldn't help myself, it was just so sad.

I ignored my sister telling me I should be sent to a mental institution. Just because she's got the emotional range of Ronald Weasley. (even though i do love him).

A teaspoon

Today, I ate a whole half  tub ice-cream. I only stopped because my sister exclaimed. I hadn't even noticed I had eaten so much.

Rickshaw quote of the day:

"Pappu Yaar Tang Na Ker!"