Neverland

What wonderful weather. It's been raining nonstop since last night. It only just stopped now. school was cancelled, which I was immensely happy about. i still haven't finished my physics homework, despite the added holiday. But that's because the man gave us SIXTY questions. I cannot do sixty physics questions in one go, especially not at home with the rain outside. I attempted two, out of which one I didn't understand. I also ate pakoras. yum.
This rain thing is really weird for september though, and there was SO much destruction, and the streets are completely flooded. 

The weather is nice and cool right now, but i just went to take a shower, and it was SO COLD, i waited for 20 minutes for the water to warm up a bit but it never did, so i just dumped to ice cold water on my head. It was awful. My brain is now numb due to the coldness.

I also (finally) watched Bol, and I cried and i cried and I cried, and I felt really light after it ended. it was such a wonderful movie and I've been wanting to watch a crying movie for a really long time now. I love crying movies. Seriously, if you haven't seen it, you must go watch it.
It is movies like Bol and Khuda Kay Liyey that make up for the disaster that is the Pakistani film industry.


Ooh this reminds me of a forwarded text message that i had gotten:
Lollywood ending of Titanic:
Shan swims on to shore dragging Meera with one hand and the Titanic with the other.

It made me laugh.


I started writing a story on fictionpress, which was a really bad idea, because it's the only thing running through my mind right now and when i talk to people I start thinking what one of the characters would reply, or think "that sounds like something this character would say!" and i really want to write another chapter but i won't let myself because it will be bad for me, and i have four tests this week and all the uni applications to worry about. I am such a stupid.

Everything is ulta.
I thought it was the 8th, but my computer tells me it's the 13th. This means i have way fewer days than i thought to complete the forms and hand them in by the deadlines.
I also am completely bamboozled by the Common-app forms. Why does America have to make everything so difficult?

The A1s have officially infiltrated the school. Its awful cuz now there are so many people it makes it hard for anyone to even move around. They are everywhere, taking up space and clogging up arteries. I bump into a minimum of ten people a day.

I have come to the conclusion that I will never be able to drive. I had joined a driving school, where this woman would come to my house in her battered up bechara sa old car, and she would take me out in the middle of traffic and tell me to drive. I was always in the far left lane though.
I got the hang of driving in that car cuz the clutch kept getting stuck, so the car didn't stop sudden;y if i let it go to early. I tried driving in my dad's car afterwards but it kept stopping.
I'm sure i could figure out how to drive properly if i practiced, though.
but that's not the reason i won't ever be able to drive properly. the main reason is my dunderheadedness.
whenever i drive on a long stretch f road without traffic, or if i'm stuck in traffic and not moving, I eventually get bored and start looking at billboards, and eventually get lost in another imaginary world with pixies and fairies, and then suddenly the driving instructor grabs the wheel or brakes(it's a good thing she has brakes on her side of the car too ) and I remember i'm supposed to be looking at where i'm going.
My biggest fear is what would happen if i was driving at night on fourteenth august or 12th Rabi-ul-Awal, with all the lights and stuff everywhere.


My birthday is in a few days. I have no desire to turn eighteen. i love being seventeen. it's the best age ever. not that i have lived long enough to be making a fair judgement on that.
If i turn eighteen, i have to get my ID card, and i officially get my learners permit, and eventually my drivers license,  and i could buy alcoholic drinks in some countries(not that i would) and i would also be able to vote. again, not that I would, but still, the pressure's there ya know? And most importantly, if i turn 18, I'll legally be an adult.

Notice that I said "if."
I don't intend on turning 18 anytime soon. I'm going to run away to Neverland and never come back. I've already memorized the address, it's easy enough.
"Second to the right and straight on till morning."
I can't wait to meet Peter, we're gonna be best friends, and he's gonna teach me how to sword fight, too.

And best of all, I won't have to deal with this college nonsense, or the first years, or the a levels, or the SAT, or  my friends nagging me to have a birthday party when i don't want one.

So if you don't hear from me again, it's because Neverland doesn't have computers.

 I laughed about this for ages after i saw it. Whenever I would think about it i had to try to contain my giggles so people wouldn't look at me strangely. I don't know why. Maybe it's the added fact that I understand something math related that makes it so funny for me.

CUN- FYOO- XUN

hello. :)
yes, I know it has been about two centuries since i last posted or even read anyone else's blogs.
My brain and i aren't on speaking terms with each other right now, even though it's not my fault. The stupid thing doesn't listen.

Ever since school started, the only thing i have been thinking about is university applications, becauuse my college counselor will NOT let me forget with her long threatening emails and scary notices and final deadlines.

I had to write a resume. I have never done that before in my whole entire life, and it was a pretty daunting task. i figure I should have done more stuff in the past couple of years, cuz i really didnt have that much to write about. 


After i gave it in (on the last possible day) i realised i had left out a couple of things that i hadn't thought were important but my friends say were. (like being able to understand and speak a little gujrati) there was a whole other slew of things too. I had to ask teachers to write recommendations. I love my language teacher, so I asked her immmediately, but i had no clue who else to ask. i could ask either my physics or psych teacher or math teacher from last year, but they didn't really know me that well. My psych teacher doesn't know anyone, not even her own advisees(she's a counsellor, im glad i dont have her) and my physics teacher kinda knew me from when i got good grades, i think, but i was advised against asking him, and my math teacher.. i talked a lot in his class, so my psych teacher it was. I'm not too happy with that decision, but oh well. I just hope she looks in her records or whatever and sees that i have good grades.


Then there are the forms. there are so many forms. I hate filling out forms, it's so scray, because i keep thinking i'm going  to write something wrong. i have to keep checking my passport for how my name is spelt, and how my middle name is written. it's terrifying. plus, i've got the worst handwriting in the universe, and being nervous while writing only makes it worse.but you know, all of the above would be so much easier to handle if i had a sure idea of where i wanted to go. 
Since i was little, it was always NCA, in lahore. but that was when i wanted to be an architect. I want to be a psychologist now, but there aren't a lot of good places on pakistan for that. there's bahria, and KU, but i don't wanna stay in karachi, i feel like i need to learn to be independant. I am the most dependant person i know. I want to wash my own clothes in a washing machine, and put them in a dryer, and stuff. i've never done stuff like that before.


There is always BNU, in Lahore, which is good, i guess, since ive wanted to study in lahore forever (even though i've never been there) but it's a really new college, and i don't think it's very good for psychology.

THEN i decided to apply abraoad (which is the reason behind all the forms and deadlines and resumes that are killing 


me) My mum didin't want me to go elsewhere at all at first, but then shhe said its okay if iu apply, and then she said MAYBE i could go, and now she doesn't even say that anymore. So i'm pretty sure i'd be allowed to go. I just hope i could get a scholarship of some kind. most of the stupid schools don't even offer financial aid to international students.
My original choices were america, canada and the uk. (generic, yes.) 


At first, when I gave the toefl, i was really excited about canada. 
but then i started looking at universities in the uk and fell ion love with Bath university(my friends made fun of the name) and UCL. But then i suddenly got really scared and started freaking out about the uk, because i've never been there before, and it was scary thinking about it. In the end, i decided not to apply to the uk, because im a chicken and it was too scary and i didnt have family there and the UCAS was one less thing to worry about.


but the US is the country that is driving me insane. I HATE COMMONAPP. 
also, i have no idea where to apply. there are so many places and its so CONFUSING!
I decided on two places in minnesota, cuz i like it there, (even though i have no idea how i'l survive the cold if i end up going there. I can just barely stand Karachi winters, and they're not even cold.)


I am not entirely happy with my choices so far. I'm sad.
And i've just realised that i want to apply to the UK again, despite the extra forms, but I don't know if i'll be allowed, cuz my counsellor is so scary. I'm afraid to ask her, cuz she'll just say, "Deadlines.. should've decided before... I told you to research in the summer.. Bubblebutt.. blah blah blah."


And now i want to go to Spain, too. and learn Spanish. I've always wanted to learn Spanish, but in this gigantic city, i couldn't find even one place that would teach me. so i want to learn in university. but my parents said no to going to Spain, so i want to go someplace that has a study abroad program and teaches Spanish, too.


AND i'm giving the SAT in November, and i haven't even started studying. There's no way i'm getting a good score in that. I should probably just not even bother with the US.


I can't wait till all this application business is over. my life will be easier.
but then i'll have to decide where to go (if i get in anywhere that is). if i go to lahore, i'll get to be closer to home, and come home for eid and stuff, and fast with other people who are fasting.
no matter what people say about lahore being completely different from karachi, it can't be as different as a whole other country.
i know i want to be independent and all, but i don't know if i can be THAT independent, and live away from my family and home for so long. 

If i decide to study out of pakistan, where will I get chilli milli and crunchies and malteasers and bhutta and halwa poori and kachoris and aam paapar and chicken tikka and all of that delicious stuff? and how will I live without chicken? It's practically the only thing i eat. you don't get halaal food everywhere. I CAN"T LIVE ON VEGETABLES. 
and how will I keep my rozas if no one else is? It takes various people yelling at me and practically being shoved out of my bed for me to be able to wake up for sehri. How will I do that if there's no one to wake me up? and how will I remember to pray without the azaan? half my namaazes are prayed qaza anyway.
And HOW will I get my eyebrows threaded? 
and what will i do if i have the sudden urge to speak in urdu, and have no one to speak it with? or what if i can't remember how to translate an urdu word into english and it's a life-or-death situation? 

uff, i'm so confused. I want an epiphany about the perfect college for me. then i want to get in to that college. how do some people know exactly where they want to go there entire lives? wait, i used to be like that. why did i suddenly decide to change my career path. I hate myself. 

Wow, If you read through all of that, you must be incredibly bored by now. apologies.

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EID MUBARAK! :D

is it sad that this was saved for last?

I hope all of you have a wonderfully marvellous eid. or had, seeing as it's almost over.

It's so strange that Ramzaan's over already. I have to keep reminding myself that i'm finally allowed to eat. But i'm really sad ramzaan is over. It's my favourite month. 

maghrib ki azaan is so disappointing now that there's no iftaar anymore.

My family and i are going to thatta tommorrow. Nice break from Eid milling. I'm not a very social person, and the only fun thing about going to other people's houses and sitting uncomfortably is the eidi.

I'm going to have an onslaught of tests as soon as eid is over, but i haven't studied anything.

Ooohh.. Shinyy!

I'M SO EXCITEDDD :D

I got my first blog award!

It's from Asif who blogs at That Guy from Karachi
Thank youu so much, Asif, you are awesome :D

If you aren't already following him, you should go check out his blog. it is awesome.

I wish to pass this award on to.. *drumroll*

AcetylCholine, from Critical Velocity
Her blog posts are funny, short, witty, and lots of fun to read. i get excited whenever her name comes up on my dashboard. :)

Nas, from Closing Pandora's Box
Here is another blogger who's posts i wait for anxiously. They're almost always really thought provoking and plain awesome. :D

Beyond Timid, from The Enigma's Hideout
A blogger blogging about her life, which just happens to be hilariously funny, and super awesome.

anndd Asif, from That Guy From Karachi
Yes, i know he gave me the award, but his blog rocks and i just had to re-award him.

ALSO, extra super special mention goes to Hamza Bin Ladin and Furree Katt, who i know you have heard of before, and are crazy if you haven't. They were awarded this very award a second ago so i won't.

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I WANT RAIN.

It is the end of July, and it STILL has not rained. and if you are thinking "Hey, what about the rain two days ago?" I do NOT count that as rain.
That was a very sad excuse for rain.

I was at a friend's house when that sad excuse for rain started, and i got all excited and called my car to go home so that i could go play in the rain and properly get soaked, despite my friends' protests that i should stay and it would stop soon.

as soon as i stepped outside to get in the car, it stopped. I should have listened to my friends.

I was left rainless and friendless.

The next day, when I went on Facebook, there were tons of angry statuses about how the electricity had gone for hours after five minutes of rain. thank God this did not happen at my house, but then, the electricity goes 8 to 10 hours at my house everyday anyway.

It's awful.

CURSE YOU KESC.

Rumplestilskin.

I am very sad.
I have such a meaningless existence.
especially now that the TCF summer camp has ended. i was volunteering for it for three weeks. actually it was more like two and a half because all of the strikes and the city's halaat.

I think the TCF thing was one of the best experiences of my whole entire life.
i love those kids. they're so friendly and nice and eager to learn and hyper. very very hyper. it's close to impossible getting them to sit down after break.
I taught grade five, and it was SO much fun.
each class had to put on a play at the end of each week, and they were all super eager for a part.
they were pretty good at acting, too.

This is my class singing/reciting labpe aati hai dua

Kachwa aur khargosh (the tortoise and the hare)

They insisted on having masks to wear.

they loved helping make them, too.

They all LOVED ludo.

at the end of the day, there was always time for games, and then all the kids from every class would run downstairs in the ground area. they would all -even the grade three kids- then start pulling my arms in every direction, trying to get me to be in their team. i'm surprised my arms are still fixed in their sockets. it's strange that they only did that to me and one other person. no one else. its like they knew i couldn't scold them.
they wouldn't stop until i threatened them i wouldn't play anymore or found another volunteer willing to play to be in the other team, or decided to play a game without  teams.
there were a couple who hung on to me anyway, even if we weren't playing a game.

On the last days, a lot of the kids came up to me to give me cards, even from other classes. I felt loved.
most of them also insisted of me giving them my cell phone number, but i never expected them to call me, but yesterday, one of the girls from my class called me saying that she missed me. That made me happy for the whole entire day.

Aargh i just want to eat her!

the twins :)

OMG I miss them so much.
I am definitely volunteering for this again next year.

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My whole entire life, i have hated peaches. loathed them. i couldn't even stand the smell of them. i even hated peach scented perfumes.

yesterday, my mum decided to force feed me a peach. initially, i was horrified, then revolted.

i protested loudly, but to no avail. the peach was forced into my mouth.

the first bite, i was determined to hate it, so i put on a this-is-really-difficult-for-me face, and swallowed it quickly.

the second bite, i realised, half way through the chewing, that it really wasn't as bad as i was making it out to be all my life.

the third bite, i actually started enjoying it. 

I still can't believe it. I actually LIKE peaches.

and then today, with new found bravery, i tried a plum. I LIKED THAT TOO.

this is all very strange.

i tried carrots again too, but i still can't bring myself to like them.

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The Chronicles of a Muslim Vampire- Fictionpress

Summary: 
It's odd but somewhat ironic that in this day and age, people are more scared to get on a plane with me - not because I'll suck their blood, no, but because I might blow the plane up. Oh, well.

Click on the above link and read it. It is HILARIOUS.

Post Script: I have realised i hate being called Vice Versa. i just don't feel like it sounds like me.

what kind of a name do you think would suit me?

Pinocchio

Hello.
Yes, i am alive and have not been eaten by mutant fish zombies.In case anybody wondered where I was for the past couple of weeks, I was not in Karachi, and then when I came back, I started watching heroes, and got completely obsessed with it, so all I did was watch that for a few days. And then when I kind of got over that obsession, the tcf summer camp that i was volunteering for started,which completely tired me out, aur us kay oopar, I was (and still am, i guess) hyperventilating about applying for college, which I will dedicate a whole other post to later.

I haven't felt like writing anything lately, which is strange, cuz every time something happened, i would be mentally typing it in my brain, but did not feel like typing it all out. I haven't been on blogger in a while either, and i just noticed all the zillions of other posts that have been posted while i was away.


I'll just tell you about the first couple of weeks of my disappearance.

I had gone to Fairy Meadows with my family. The name sounds made up, doesn’t it? When I told my friend, she told me I needed to stop going to imaginary places in my brain. (I’ve only done that a couple of times. More often, I just talk to imaginary people.)

It is real though, and it is gorgeous. It's near the base camp of Nanga Parbat. For those of you who don’t know your Pakistani geography, the Nanga Parbat is the ninth highest mountain in the world, in the Himalayan range and is one of the most dangerous mountains.

On Friday, we left Karachi for Islamabad.

Islamabad is so clean.

And it's so pretty. so many trees, so little pollution.

So different from Karachi.

The area where my cousins live is so safe, that the houses don't even have gates! and you can go outside for a walk or whatever by yourself whenever you want.

But it doesn't look half as pretty as Karachi does in the night time.

For some reason, when I went, I initially didn’t see any Islamabadi people, i saw lots of Pindi people on the way from the airport, but in Islamabad, I didn’t see anybody. maybe i just wasn't paying attention, or Islamabadis don't come out at night. But in the morning, when i saw the backs of a group of boys, i got really excited because this was the first time i remembered seeing Islamabadi people. But I got kinda disappointed when they turned around, because they looked just like most other Pakistanis.

I don't know WHAT I was expecting.

My brain just likes to set me up for disappointment.

we had to leave early from Islamabad the day after arriving, but the van (yes, van. it was not big enough to be called a coaster, which was what we had wanted) came late, so we went for a walk, and we went up a small hill, and in the middle of the tiny pebbles that were scattered everywhere on the ground, there were 3 tiny speckled eggs. Whatever creature had laid them, had gathered the pebbles around the eggs like a tiny nest. We decided they were snake eggs cuz even if they were on a hill, what bird would lay eggs on the ground?

It was a two day drive from Islamabad to Raikot. we stopped at Besham for the night in a PTDC hotel thing, which was actually really nice. it was right next to the Indus river, and we went down to dip our feet in it, until it started raining really hard and we had to come back inside.

The car ride was SO HOT. everybody was burning, and it made everyone get a bit cranky, and also a little bit kooky. the heat does strange things to you.

It was such a relief to get to Raikot.

From there, we had to take an open jeep up the mountain. it was a very steep and narrow path, around ten feet wide, and the jeep was less than a foot near the edge the entire time. it was very bumpy and very scary, cuz we kept going higher, and we started around Maghrib, so it kept getting darker, too.

Then we reached Tatu, by which time it was completely dark, and there were so many stars it was crazy.

My family saw a lot of shooting stars. I didn’t though. This saddened me.

There’s a song (I don’t remember which) that has a lyric that describes stars as something like holes punched in a backlit canopy, but that’s not what these stars looked like. It looked like there were zillions of tiny little lights hovering around in space.

We had to stay the night there, and there was no electricity, so we had to use torches.

In the morning, we left for fairy meadows. It was a three hour long trek UPHILL and it was so difficult, I was huffing and puffing more than the big bad wolf, and had to keep stopping to catch my breath. Eventually, I reached, and it was so amazingly gorgeous, it was worth all that effort getting there.

Where we stayed, we had the perfect view of Nanga Parbat.

It was beyond awesome.

There were these little log cabins, and we went to the forest everyday to walk, and there were such CUTE little animals!

A baby cow AND a slightly older than a baby goat both licked my hand. It made my day.

There was heather everywhere. We collected lots and lots of it, and when I came home and opened my bags, I found heather everywhere.

We ate French fries everyday, we only drank fresh water from the glacier that eventually turns into the Indus River, and there was a bonfire every night, because it was so freezing cold we had to wear jackets meant for snow. (Us Karachi people can’t handle the cold, no matter how much we complain about the heat.)

We saw all kinds of weird tree bark, some of which looked like wall paper, and some even peeled off and looked just like regular notepad paper. I am convinced this is where man got the idea from.

On the second last day, we walked to Bayyal camp, from which we all started to go up to the view point which was even higher up than Fairy meadows was (eleven and a half thousand feet), and in the end of that journey, there were less than half of us left, cuz most of the people had decided to stay back and rest. Suddenly, when the climb up got steepish, I started panicking because I couldn’t breathe, as the air was so thin. My dad had to calm me down, and I decided not to venture up any farther. That was scary.

The man who owned the place had set up a water turbine, from the water from the giant glacier, with pipes made from hollowed out logs, and we went to see that. it was quite cool.

Imagine living in a place where it's so gorgeous, and so cold, and the electricity never goes! 

But it's impossible to live there in the winters because of the weather, so the people who live there only live there for about half the year.

On the last day, it started raining, and then there was a rainbow. at first it was really light, but then a darker rainbow formed right next to it, and it was just like the drawings every little kid makes in nursery school, with the mountains and the trees, and a full rainbow that disappears into the mountains.

it was so amazing. I want to live there when i grow up.


I'm going to go read some of the zillions of posts that i missed now.

ps: the title has nothing to do with the post.

Blaaaaaahhh.

I love driving, even though i have kind of figured out i'm not really good at it. Twice, i have stopped in the middle of the street, and the first time, i got really stressed out cuz there was a car standing in front that was stuck because of me. Today, however, i figured out that you have to push down on the accelerator before letting go of the clutch. that helped.


My dad is a very calm person, and for this, i am very fortunate, cuz if he had shown any stress during the stuck in the middle of the road thing, i would have probably freaked out, but when i parked the car, i looked over at him, and he was COVERED in sweat.


i asked him what was wrong and he replied:


" tum nay tou mujhay tension main daal dia hai. mera bura haal ho rahay hai."
that was funny. Becharay abba.


Today, when i exited the car, i did the lock-the-car-with-a-button-over-your-shoulder-thing. I felt very cool. i wish i had had sunglasses and a leather jacket. it didn't make the beep beep sound, but still.

_______________________________

It was my cousin's manghni day before yesterday! She's my first (close) cousin to get engaged and we're all mega excited. :D
the manghni, however, was filled with a bazillion people and lots of noise, and i don't really like people. I'm not a very social person, and i can't handle so many people at one time. 

I stuck to a cousin, and I am SO glad she was there.


But I did have to meet truckloads of people, and meeting people I haven't seen in a while is very awkward for me. i never know what to say.


there were so many people who came up to me and told me how much i had grown up, or how nice i looked and stuff.


I just smiled awkwardly and mumbled thanks and looked for an escape route.


I don't take compliments really well. they make me slightly uncomfortable.


One distant cousin came up to me, and said:


"HIIII!! I haven't seen you in soo long! You've grown so much. I remember the last time i saw you you were in pigtails and glasses, telling me why you didn't wanna be a doctor! and now you look so pretty, you've completely blossomed!"


She actually said blossomed. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for a reply, and i just laughed awkwardly, said thankyou and pretended i just remembered i had to say something really important to my mum, and left. it was AWKWARD.


These situations are always awkward. People are just not my thing.


It's the same with new people or people i don't know very well. i'm not very good at small talk, so once the other person's done talking, i never know what to SAY, so i pretend to get distracted by something else.
I also never know where to look. If the other person is talking for a long time, i feel weird staring at their eyes for so long, so i pretend that my fingernail hurts and lookk at it, or i'll look at a person passing by.
How do normal people do this?


I don't know HOW i made any of my friends. 


When i'm around people i'm comfortable around, however,  i can talk properly, and i never have to worry about where to look. Apparently, i talk a lot.
One of my friends told me:


"You know, you talk too much. what you could say in a minute, you stretch out and say in 5 minutes, and waste 4 minutes of everone's lives"


Also, when i'm really excited about something, or just really hyper, i can talk a lot no matter who i'm talking to.
I also talk really fast. 
I was at a friends place a couple of days ago, and i was really hyper cuz we had just had lotsa donuts, so i was talking really fast, and when i stopped, they all stared at me for a bit, and then one of them told me I could be a rapper.

___________________________________

I LOVE TO SWIM. It's one of the best forms of exercise. 


The only problem with swimming are pruny fingers, and the vent type things at the bottom of pools. I loathe swimming over the vents. i'm always terrified that they're gonna suck me in with the water like a whirlpool, and i'm going to drown and die. 

After reading that Dan Brown book in which he described drowning (i'm not sure which one), i am completely covinced that it's the absolute worst way to go. Besides being tortured or stoned to death I mean.


The showers at the place i go to swim are amazing, cuz the water pressure is so high, it's like a massage.

However, i tend to sing in the shower. a lot. Whenever, i take a shower, i sing at the top of my voice, so i always have to remember not to sing in the shower after swimming. But sometimes i forget, and i feel very awkward when i get out, and i have to avoid glances of aunties and get out of the bathroom as fast as possible.

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I have had this song stuck in my head for two days, and i can't get it out. so i'm going to get it stuck in your head, too.

Click the play button.

Some people end their posts so awesomely. My posts always and abruptly. Oh well.

FREEDOM.

My exams are officially OVER!
Do you know how long a month is? Actually,two months if you count the mocks.
You do not know, unless you've been giving exams for two months. it was pure TORURE.
My brain had turned to mush. Gooey mush. Gooey grey coloured squishy mush.
My Corpus Callosum and Hippocampus and Amygdala and Thalmus had all melted together to form gooey squishy grey mush.

The worst part was that the majority of my friends' exams were over.
I swear, the day before the last exam, i went crazy. I blew up at my sister for no reason, and started banging my head against the wall. Until I realized I was losing way more brain cells than I could afford. Brain cells that would not grow back.

loony me

But now i'm free. Like a bird. or a kangaroo. It's a good feeling.

Now, I can read as many blog posts as I want, without feeling guilty. I can write as much as I want, without feeling guilty. I can watch as much of The Big Bang Theory and Heroes as I want, without feeling guilty. I can Facebook as much as I want, without feeling guilty (as boring as it is, the ability to do this without feeling guilty is wonderful.). I can read as many books as I want, without feeling guilty. I can read as many Fictionpress stories as I want, without feeling guilty. I can watch as many movies as I want, without feeling guilty. I can draw, paint or doodle as much as I want, without feeling guilty.
I love my guiltless existence!

It's been so long, I don't think I can even remember what life was like without exams. But it feels amazing. Like a load has been lifted off my shoulders.

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In other news, I DROVE TODAY.
In an actual car!
It was so awesome, I had been waiting for this day since forever.
my dad woke me up at five in the morning and took me to a parking lot, cuz, you know, there aren't any cars there at five in the morning, and I DROVE.
I felt so cool sitting there in front of the steering wheel with the car actually moving.
When I moved the seat all the way in front, I could see over the top of the car. I was relieved about this. I had been worried I wouldn't be able to see anything.
After all those years of climbing into the front seat when my dad left the car and pretending to drive.
I can actually drive now! well.. kinda.

I didn't realize it would be so difficult just starting the car.
It took me like four tries, but I think that's pretty good, considering it's my first time and all.
then I drove in circles around the parking lot in first gear until my dad got bored.
it was so AWESOME.
Tomorrow, I get to drive in second gear.
This is so exciting!